The thing about being on the swim team is that you’re sort of in this in-between place most of the time. None of the jocks know who you are unless you manage to break the school record or make it to State, but no one else pays you any notice either because they just loop you in with the other sports kids.
I’ve spent so long carrying this crazy anger around in my heart, convincing myself that it meant I had let go, yet anger and hatred are a kind of attachment in themselves. I had to at least try to let go of that, move on. And I’m sorry for how I’ve hurt you as well. Maybe that’s a part of growing up for me as well. Growing up, growing apart. We never really thought it would be real.